The Eternal Struggle

She's a playful little bugger. Though sometimes I wonder who is having more fun me or her. I often go outside with her for an hour or two and just play with her. I find that the simple things in life make it worth wild and enjoyable. Watching the sun set, taking a simple walk on the beach, or listening to my music any of those things often can bring pure bliss to my life. I much rather keep my life some what simple and see the wonderful things most people don't recognize. In the end thats that makes me feel so different at times. I am a man who lives outside of this box called life, I am a man who looks beyond this box called life and looks at other things around it.

In my time on this earth I lost so much and gained so much on both sides. I look at life on a whole different way than a number of people because at one point in time I almost lost it. On the day of the crash I lost grip with reality and myself and my life just about. When I was finally at the state of where I could see who I was I had to start putting the pieces together on just what person I really was.

I take the simple things in life to be its greatest. A calm afternoon playing with my family's dog far out weighs a night of chaos and confusion in a party world. I found that me almost losing my life made me look at each day as being special and never take anything for granted.

The Moon Over The Mail Box

I love science. It's one of those things that I have always had a fascination toward as soon as I learned of it. Our sun, our night sky, our moon, The stars all around. I never was one to take simple answers that my mom or adults gave me about science and space when I asked them questions. What is the sun, how many stars are out in space, when was our planet created, how long does our sun stay on. Those questions I had in my mind pushed me to find the answers on my own.

When I was in elementary school and I was asphyxiated on our sun I read that our sun is a simple star just like the many stars of the night sky. That information blew my mind away the revelation that we have a star like the many stars of the night sky and that each one of those star's may have planets with life like ours. That information I thought about excited me.

I'm a big science fiction novel, short story, and movie watcher but I had no fear of extraterrestrial beings out in space the way they were presented in movies and such. The fear of them is formed in our own mind because we as human beings wouldn't know how to handle seeing a being or creature with our level of intelligence or beyond. Its a fear that we are no longer the top creatures in this galaxy or universe for that instant.

As I began to expand my knowledge of this world and beyond I started to lose grips on the religion I grew up with. I was brought up in an average christian family. I respected what I was taught through it but as I learned more and more on a science scale for me the two couldn't combine. I'm a moral person who respects people rights and freedoms. For me I can't hold it true to my heart that we were made by a mystic being who created this universe in 7 days. I need to see research, I need to see evidence, I need to see mathematical calculations. Our earth is 4 billion years so is our sun. Our solar system is just one out of billions in our galaxy, our galaxy has over a 100 billion stars. For me there may be no after life, no holy land of bliss or a plain of eternal pain and torment. What makes me happy is that I am able to be a animal, a being who is conscious and can see the world and universe for what it is I'm happy about that.

We have so much we don't know and so much we still can learn. This world, This galaxy, This universe has so much to show us we just have to open our eyes and see.

Hey Salisbury

I'm glad its a bit warm today it has that nice spring feeling in the air its a nice day today. One thing that I had almost lost that I'm glad to have back being able to look at sunlight. A number of years back I had gotten a abrasion on my cornea on my left eye and it caused hell for a number of years for me. The most notable thing is the fact that everything I see out of my left eye is blurry it has been worse in the past but its better now. Another thing was the fact that sunlight hurt my eyes like hell. A whole ton of pain every time i was outside during the daylight even on cloudy days it hurt.

I had to go to the eye doctors quite a bit and over time my eyes were able to heal and at the point now I can even see sunlight and it doesn't hurt any longer. It feels real good being able to see the sunlight or the sun going down and not face pain with it. You never realize how much you love something until you almost lose it those words never seemed more right until now. One thing that has carried over to me since this situation with my eyes is the fact I always wear shades now. Be it sunny, cloudy, or almost dark I always have my shades on its kind of a force of habit now.

For now today I will bask in this warm sunlight with my window open and be happy at the beauty of the light I see.

Taking a trip back

This last past two weeks now I have been catching episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I loved the show and I was a steady watcher from about 94 till it went off the air. I been catching classics like "Manos: The Hands of Fate", "Space Mutiny", and "Puma Man" all great episodes of movies that you really couldn't watch outside of the show because they were that bad.

I work at a local college here SU and spring break starts the end of this week so I will be off for 10 days starting today. I don't know what I'll do while I'm off most likely go over my grandmothers and visit her and travel around town and take some pictures. I would like to go down to main street and the plaza and take some pictures around there. Get a new feel of Salisbury and see it in new ways I never seen it before.


I like taking pictures of Sara she doesn't mind me taking a ton of pictures of her. Its rather funny how easy it is sometimes to set up some pictures of her and how hard it is at other times to take pictures of her. She is one playful girl though as soon as you pick up a toy of her's she is ready to play with it and wants you to throw it for her. She is however the family dog and the one that every one loves no matter how bad she acts.

Caught in a loop

It has been quite a few weeks for me. Last week I began getting a tad bit sick and then it came down with full force. I don't get sick to often but when I do it often strikes with a vengeance. How ever I'm feeling much better and things are settling back to normal for me so I'm pretty happy now. I tend to like the winter months more than the summer months but I kinda want this cold weather to be done and over with. I feel I could do so many different things and accomplish quite a bit this spring and summer.







One thing I find funny is when I go on taking pictures of Salisbury as I'm riding through town is that when I capture them in black & white is that they have such a nostalgic feel to them. As if for a brief moment time has been captured and its a moment where all things are standing still. For me its as if those moments in the past in Salisbury that I remember seeing as a kid is captured right there.